November 28, 2009

• Tonto Goldstein

  I’m reading dirty jokes. Highly intelligent fare.

  “Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!”

  There’s a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees a patient masturbating right there in the hallway.
  “What condition does he have?” the student asks. “He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder,” the doctor replies. “If he doesn’t obtain sexual release forty to fifty times a day, he’ll pass into a coma.”
  The student takes some notes on that, and they continue down the hall.
  As they turn the corner, he sees another patient with his pants around his ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse.
  “What about him?” the student asks. “What’s his story?” “Oh, it’s the same condition,” the doctor replies. “He just has a better health plan.”

  These three guys were stranded on this island with no hope of getting off for a long time. Then this 500 pound guy came out of some bushes and said “Okay, I give you two choices……death or bongo.”
  The first guy said, “I have a lot to live for; my wife and kids are at home. I choose bongo.”
  The big guy takes him aside and they start banging it right there.
  The second guy sees this and doesn’t think it looks so bad so he also chooses bongo. Then two 550 pound guys come out of the bushes and they get it on right there.
  The third guy is disgusted by this, so he chooses death. After saying this, fourteen 550 pound guys come out of the bushes screaming “DEATH BY BONGO!!!!!!”

  • 7:57 pm
  • 1 Comment