December 23, 2012
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Letting myself go
Do I even know what it is to be honest with myself when I put words to paper, without censoring my feelings later? What the hell is it that I fear, that I cannot say what’s going on in my head? Upsetting someone? Who? Anyone I would be confiding in will still love me either way. Do I just think that the words about my emotions aren’t good enough, so that my topics turn to something more general? It’s not like I’m in the pits of despair here, I just have some sort of aversion to talking about myself. Like, maybe I think I’ll become self-centered if I pour out what’s in my heart. But, that doesn’t make sense. So, the next step of the lifelong healing process that my soul needs to go through is just… beautiful catharsis.
Comments (2)
Who is it that watches the watcher? Interesting post…
I found this post interesting. I have never come clean with anyone. I am like a counter puncher in boxing–the are good counter punchers. I counter to the comments of others. I was that way as a kid, student, employee, manager and husband–57 years. lol
I learned early that they way I express myself irritates people. I adjusted and did fairly well in life.
I have the right wife—strong personality, very verbal, full of ideas, etc. and basically wants my support and approval of her ideas. She is excellent with finances, health issues, appearance, and affection. She likes to do all of the talking, so that works.
I still get frustrated in being controlled.
I do fear expressing myself as you discussed. I am afraid to speak my mind so I stay totally non-controversial.
I related to your thinking here.
frank