I have thrush. As in, fungal infection in my throat. As in, something usually associated with infants. I did some seemingly innocent things, or at least not so bad, such not washing dishcloths as often as I should, or having an alcoholic beverage at a party and then not brushing my teeth before I retire, paired with a down immune system from a cold earlier in the week. And this infection was bad enough to restrict my breathing and cause me to get an antibiotic shot in the ass. What the hell? Oh, the wonders of the human body.
Measure of my geekiness: hand-sewing a green cloak, not for me but for a friend and while watching a Bollywood film no less, and taking a nap under the fabric when I'm done. When I awaken, I look at the expanse of material and wonder if my dreaming might have cast some sort of good magic upon the garment. Actually, if you were paying attention, the measure of my geekiness was just the phrase "hand-sewing a green cloak".
There is a difference between a feminist and a man-hater. I learned this difference this past week, while celebrating Guy Fawkes day. Feminists stick together for sisterhood and raise each other up. Man-haters talk about all the ways that women are opressed by men without understanding the nature of femininity. Feminists fight for their rights with their honor still intact. Man-haters get defensive when a walking contradiction to their rants shows up and becomes personally offended by their speech. Feminists look down in shame from the shrew-like screamings of the man-hater, turns to her male companions, and says, "I apologize. Don't listen to her, we're really not all like that. Just keep sewing, keep watching Natalie Portman waltz with the man in the mask. Maybe she'll go away eventually..."
New film to add to the list of epic cinematic masterpieces: Cradle Will Rock. Can't even explain the plot, because my words would not do it justice. And yet no one has ever heard of it before. And, indirectly, for all of its historical, radical, nude, cursing, bohemian content, it is owned by the Disney Corporation, through Touchstone Pictures. This is almost a movie that I can't watch alone, but only because it makes me want to don a toga and run amok in the streets smearing paint on everything and everyone. And, even though it sounds incredibly cheesy to say this, it gives my life as an artist a whole new meaning. Plus, it makes me totally okay with breaking the fourth wall in the theatrical suspension of disbelief. The geekiness just kind of pours out of me this evening, doesn't it?

 - RaeRae the Magnificent
Now Enriched with Vitamins E, K, and Riboflavin

Tell Everyone About Yourself

Time started:: 8:28 p.m.

BasicAbout you:

Name:: Rachel

Gender:: female

Height:: 5'7"

Eye color:: blue

Hair Color:: dark blonde

Age:: 24

Birthday:: July 31

Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: right, but with some ambidextrous leanings.

Piercings:: none, but love looking at piercings on others.

Tattoos:: none.

Zodiac Sign:: Leo

Ring Size:: 10 1/2 to 11 (I have big Scottish hands)

Grade:: College Senior

More about you:

Are you named after anyone?: A soap-opera character, a romance novelist, and a soul singer from the 70's.

Do you live in the moment?: That's a complicated question. I can, but not to the point of flighty behavior. Not sure yet if that is a failing or not.

Do you consider yourself tolerant to others?: I wish I were more tolerant, but I think I am.

Do you have any secrets?: Lots. I pride myself on being mysterious.

Do you hate yourself?: Also a complicated question. I find fault with myself often and change my personality to suit what I think it should be, but other than those little tweaks, I think I'm a pretty okay person.

Do you like your handwriting?: I think I have very neat handwriting.

Do you have any bad habits?: I procrastinate, I stutter, I interrupt others, and I am messy.

If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Maybe - if I bribed myself with fun outings and shiny gifts.

Any regrets?: It's not what I did, it's what I didn't do.

Do you think life has been good so far?: I need to make it better.

Are you confident?: I have bravado, if that counts for anything.

How long does it take you to shower?: Twenty minutes or so, just from all the hair treatments I have to use.

What color is your room?: White. University issued bland painted walls.

Where do you want to attend college?: I will graduate college in May. Finally.

Do you…?

Smoke?: I used to.

Do drugs?: Years ago. Back when I smoked. Actually, by the strength of my mind alone, I'm pretty crazy without medicinal assistance.

Drink?: Sometimes. I like beer, and wine, and whiskey, and...

Go to church?: I am the daughter of a church elder, so I make an appearance when I can.

Sleep with stuffed animals?: No.

Take walks in the rain?: If it's not cold rain, it's a fun experience.

Talk to people even if you hate them?: No. If I hate someone, I avoid them at all costs.

Drive?: No. Don't get me started.

Believe in premarital sex?: It's not for everyone, but for those with open minds and healthy views of sexuality and healthy bodies and that take care of safety, sex can be a beautiful thing even outside of a monogamous relationship.

Want to get married?: Not sure. I'm the type of hopeless romantic that used to write love poetry, but now I would have to see. If I fell in love, I would, but if that never happens, I'd be fine on my own.

Want to go to college?: Just one more semester, and then I'll be out.

Want to have children?: I might adopt someday.

Sing in the shower?: No. I never seem to have enough privacy for that.

Highlight your hair?: Never have.
Like coffee?: I LOVE coffee.

Wear makeup everytime you go out?: Depends on if I have time.

Have you ever…?

Hurt yourself?: Accidentally and on purpose. Unfortunately I went through a self-destructive phase.

Been out of the country?: No. But soon...

Been in love?: No. That would be amazing, though.

Had surgery?: I've had dental surgery once, and that was enough.

Played strip poker?: Yes. That was a very interesting night.

Been on stage?: I crossed one today on the way to the sword box, but there was no audience.

Pulled an all nighter?: Yes. Many, many times.

Gone one day without food?: Yes, several days at a time, for religious reasons. For regular reasons, also.

Slept all day?: Only when I was sick.

Kissed a stranger?: Yes.

Had a dream that came true?: Big grand scheme of things dreams, several. Dream deja-vu, so often that I don't call them coincidences anymore.

Broken the law?: Yes, but I've never been caught, so there's nothing to say about it.

Stolen anything?: Never had the desire to, even as a kid.

Been on radio/tv?: I was a guest one time on a friend's radio show. That was pretty cool.

Been in a mosh-pit?: Hell yes!

Bungee jumped?: No, but want to someday, perhaps.

Had a dream that kept coming back?: A few.
Gone out of state?: Yes, but not as often as I would like.

Live in other states?: Just Arkansas.

Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: No. God, no. That makes me feel nauseous just thinking about it.

Had a movie marathon?: Several. It's what we do. We're such geeks that we do the whole theme night thing.
Spun until you were immensely dizzy?: This week I did, actually. The underside of the tree looked really awesome all spinny, and so did the sky when I fell on my ass.

Been on a plane?: No. An experience I was deprived of in my life. I'll have to remedy that soon.

Ran into a wall?: Several times.

Been rejected by a crush?: Only once directly. Usually men I'm interested in either forget I exist after a few weeks, or they don't know I exist in the first place.

Cried in public?: Not that I remember. I tend to keep my composure fairly well.

Cried over a movie?: Yes. I get into the story very deeply sometimes.

Pranked called someone?: Yes. That's a lot of fun if you do it correctly.

Gotten a cavity?: I might have one on my left side, I just can't get to a dentist. Stoopid lack of insurance.

Broken a bone?: I've been bruised, cracked, and chipped before.

Fallen from a tree?: Yes. That's the best part of climbing trees.

Passed out?: I've almost passed out a few times, and I've been knocked out more than once.

Do you believe …?

in miracles?: Sure.

in magic?: Yes. Very powerful stuff.

in God?: Yes.

in ghosts?: Why not.

in luck?: Eh. I think we make our own luck.

in love at first sight?: Attraction yes, but love comes with intimacy, with understanding...

in Santa?: I believe in Saint Nicolas, as a good man from long ago, and I believe in the spirit of human compassion that comes with the Christmas season, but Santa Claus, no.

in the Easter Bunny?: I don't think I was ever led to believe that the Easter Bunny was real, or at least not on the same level as Santa.

in witches?: Yes. I've actually been hexed more than once.

in wishing on shooting stars?: Yes.

that cussing is a necessity in life? No. There are other ways of communicating. I don't trust carpenters, plumbers, stitchers, or electricians that don't cuss, however.

yourself?: Sure. Why not.

Love and all that -

Do you consider love a mistake?: That's a complicated question. It's a mistake when it's not returned. It's a mistake when it holds you down. It's a mistake when it hurts more than it heals. But when love is good and pure, it's absolutely beautiful.

Who and when was your first crush?: Sixth grade, some guy in my G/T class. When my classmates found out, it was hell for me for the rest of the year. Thank you for making me relive those memories.

First thing you notice about the opposite sex?: Their hands, and the way they speak.

Right this moment…

What are you wearing?: Gray t-shirt, gray sweatpants. I don't plan on dolling up until later.

What are you worried about?: School. Personal junk.

What book are you reading?: I have to read the play "A raisin in the sun" for Monday.

Are you bored?: I am rarely bored.

Are you tired? Not really.

Are you talking to anyone online or on the phone?: Not at the moment.

Are you listening to music, if so then what? Black Sabbath.

The Last…Dream you had:: Something about crossing streets in a bus, trying to get somewhere.

Nightmare:: I don't remember.

Time you cried:: This week, sometime. Nothing major. I like crying.

Movie you watched:: Waiting for Guffman.

Movie you rented:: I think Kim rented "Paprika" and "The Woods" a month or so ago.

Book you read: Heidi Chronicles.

Word you said: Goodbye, to the last person I talked to on the phone.

Time you laughed:: Sometime today.

Person to call you:: A friend.
CD you played:: Soundtrack to "Voices"

Song you listened to:: War Pigs

IM sent or received:: Kristen said something like "I'm back" but I'd already left for class.

Time you yelled:: Yesterday, in excitement.

Person you yelled at:: No one in particular.

time you were a skirt:: A couple of days ago.

Your favorite:

Type of gum:: Orbit Raspberry Mint

Season:: Summer turing to Autumn.

Type of weather:: Mild weather.

Color:: The entire hue family of blues.

Perfume:: I'm allergic to most perfumes, except CK Be and Calgon spray stuff.

Pizza topping:: Mushrooms.

Fruit:: Watermelon
TV Show:: Lost, The Daily Show, That 70's Show, Myth Busters

Day of the week:: Thursday

Month:: March

Number:: 24781.00962

Sport to watch:: Baseball

Flower:: Stargazer lilies.

Finally…Time Finished:: 9:22 p.m.

Mole Rats. Yes. That's what I said. Hot. H-O-T.
Someone fucked with the sound board this evening before the show. And not just a bump of the equalizers, either. They reset some things and it looked like they knew what they were doing. That makes me feel horrible as a designer that I can't even keep control of my own equipment. And it makes me want to kick ass, but I'm not sure whose to kick yet.
Halloween is the ultimate litmus test for humanity. Humans that are generally good, law-abiding citizens watch slasher flicks and put up creepy skeletons. Humans that have actual inner demons do morbid things because they know everyone else is in the spirit. Girls that have healthy sex drives will dress up as the sexy version of something. Girls that are whores dress up as playboy bunnies because they think they can get away with it. Churches that are open-minded and fun give out candy on their front steps. Fundamentalist douchebags rage against the pagan traditions of the holiday and say that anyone who is a Christian would shun anyone else who dares throw a sheet over their head and ask for sweets.
I have many sick souls in my sphere of influence now. Someone close to my heart told me, point blank, under the truth serum of whiskey "Please don't alienate me". Time to shine up the ol' flaming sword...
Oh, and pumpkins and death to you all. Good night.

Last night a friend of mine told me a story about her field trip with her art class to a museum that ended with a girl in her class getting into an argument with a security guard over whether or not she could take a digital picture of an Andy Warhol. The fuck? Should that argument even have happened? This girl was saying that it wasn't legal to take a picture of the whole wall, but to snap a shot of one original pop-art masterpiece was perfectly fine. Graaahhhh!!!!
But it doesn't stop there. I go to concerts, there are morons taking pictures of the band, the copyrighted stage and light design, with their camera phone. I go to blogs where the person tries to seem witty by ripping off web articles and posting them (I mean, I use things from other sites in my posts, but I usually give credit where credit is due). And don't even get me started on the music downloading thing. Seriously? Is that what we as a human race are coming to? Just disregarding human decency because there is no one behind us to tell us we can't? All these gray areas. It just pisses me off...

Current mood:busy

Fashion pisses me off. Clothing is a basic part of the human experience, something that shields the individual from the sun, protects them from the cold, the rain. But, as with everything else, it has become something that is more complicated, (Note that I did not say complex. Complex is multi-faceted. Complicated is a cluster-fuck.) more life-consuming than it should be. Yes, there is something to be said for aesthetics, but when the clothes on your back becomes an obsession, or a status symbol that separates you from the rest, or, unfortunately, a way to conform, that's putting wayyyy too much thought into something that's in reality very basic. Point that makes me insane with cynicism: Wal-Mart and these other chain stores. They make knock-off versions of popular clothing items by making them not really clothing at all. Have you seen these damn things, or ever worn them? They are drapes of tissue-paper like fabric, maybe good for one wearing, but they are sparkly and somewhat shaped like the coolest new blouse that Abercrombie (I honestly have no idea what the newest store of coolness is. That's how out of touch I am with popular culture and how long I've been rocking the thrift-store chic.) put out six months ago, but it's only ten dollars so it seems like cute clothes for less money. But it's just a stupid piece of fabric with sparkles. In two months the newest shit will come out and it will be discarded, just like everything else in this civilization.

The times that I have the most to say are the times when I have the least time to blog. I've been writing down rants on notebook paper in the shadows of rehearsal but I have as yet to bring myself to type them out and release them into cyberspace. No particular reason, just haven't done it yet. However, sound hell is almost over and the soundtrack for Voices is unofficially a musical orgasm. I fucking love theatre.

My life runs in the plot construction of a hero's journey. In other words, full of struggle and triumph but ultimately circular. I don't think I mean for it to be this way, either. After rehearsal today was an example of this, with the new theatre kids clearing out of the Techionery and light call commencing with the new gang, reminiscent talks, clouds of cigarette smoke. For me, the old becomes new, the new becomes old. It's all a cycle. But I don't think I would have it any other way.

1) For getting into a slightly damaged Barbie™ pink two-door sedan from the passenger-side window:
 - Let the driver roll down the window halfway, then push the lever yourself, as this helps you get into position and augment your already-existent embarrassment.
 - Deposit your cargo on the dashboard, and hope that the $6 worth of cheap fast food you just purchased does not attack the other passengers before you can get yourself safely inside the car.
 - Turn your body 90° so that the front half of your body faces the front of the car.
 - Lift your left foot, gracefully arching your leg until you clear the window frame.
 - Position your left foot so that it is firmly planted on the floorboard. Disregard trash, books, knitting supplies.
 - Duck your head down and try as sexily as you can to pull most of your torso into the car, all while keeping your balance and disregarding aforementioned knitting supplies.
 - Plant your posterior on the front seat. This not only helps for the next steps, but shields you from the view of others in the parking lot.
 - Pull your right foot in first, then let the rest of your leg follow. This is not a practical maneuver, but it looks really damned cool.
 - Roll up the window, buckle your seatbelt, and inform the driver that you are now ready to "blow this popsicle stand".

2) Applying chapstick in front of strangers, because you would rather they not know that you own lips.
 - Wait until they are not watching. THIS is very important.
 - Nonchalantly remove tube of chapstick from your purse.
 - Drop same tube of chapstick on floor/ground/sidewalk/airstrip.
 - Reach down to retrieve chapstick. Stand up.
 - Open tube of chapstick, apply to lips, return tube to purse.
*OR*
 - Remove tube of chapstick.
 - Open tube.
 - Keep tube still, but move head around to apply to lips (learned that move from Erica, no one can tell what you're doing in that maneuver, for some reason).

3) For proclaiming a personal philosophy that your audience disagrees with strongly, and that might someday get you personally committed to a mental institution: 
 - Remain calm through entire proclamation. Very important step. Excitedness denotes crazy. Crazy denotes, well, crazy.
 - Look each audience member in the eyes individually. This gives them the impression that you are confident, well-spoken, and, above all, not crazy.
 - Give non-verbal cues to your audience, such as a small gesture, or a clearing of the throat.
 - Give your proclamation in a few, calm, articulate sentences. This shows that you are serious about this school of thought. And that you're not crazy.
 - Realize immediately that you have failed at convincing your audience that you're not crazy.
 - Laugh nervously.
 - Run away.

4) Keeping a potential stalker at bay:
 - Answer the 17th phone call. The number 17 is very important to them.
 - Make up an excuse for not answering the first 16 calls. This can be anything: shower, class, spleen operation.
 - When asked if they are bothering you, pause. Say "yes" but reassure them that it is because you have been busy.
 - When asked about significant others, tell them that you just like to fuck around. This is vague but effective. For some reason even the most ardent pursuers will give a short, disappointed "oh" and change the subject. Stalkers don't like whores. This is very important to remember. STALKERS DON'T LIKE WHORES.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and, good night.
 - Rae Rae the Magnificent
     Colonel Mustard, with a candlestick, in the library.

The sky is starless tonight as it spans infinitely over the streetlights, but in the whisper of evaporating precipitation, the ether is a silken mist of midnight violet. I tilt my face skyward, and spin slowly to collect a magnificent autumn view. Something in the cosmos swirled the paints ever so gently this evening, tinging every cloud and atmospheric horizon with silvers and dark grays. This is serenity. This is my solace. And if I stand perfectly still, I can believe for a moment that nothing else exists.

Finding this site was the result of a instant message joke, but now that I've found it it is quite possibly the best thing I've seen all week. Plus, for every cupcake you send to someone, the site supposedly donates $1 to cancer research. Which is awesome, but the cupcakes are fun in themselves!

http://www.cupcakesforacause.org/choose.html