November 21, 2008

  • Things to Not Do. Ever.

    Leave a bottle of really good wine in the freezer thinking it will magically not freeze like bad whiskey.
    Tell someone you’re in a fight with that you’re sorry that they’re an asshole.
    Climb into the middle upslope of a rope ladder.
    Make fake blood and apply it with a fake knife on a teenager in front of a school administrator.
    Get into an argument with a student of a fine art about whether or not his degree will actually find him employment.
    Misspell a word in your rebuttal message during the aforementioned argument.
    Squirm in your seat during a movie in a crowded theater, no matter how long it is or how numb your ass is.
    Do a ballet leap in jeans and cold muscles. STILL paying for that one.

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